A couple of weeks ago in my main journal, I posted my annual challenge to you (yes, you) to make me write you a story based on a list of possible fandoms and situations. Well, four people decided they wanted me to dance to their tune (note: no actual dancing was involved), and as a result, I have nine shiny new stories to share with you all. So strap in, because here they are.

Oh, and if you want to request another one, feel free. I'm a sucker for challenges.



First, we have a little story for scarfman, who took time from his own triangle-ized chronicles of Arthur, King of Time and Space to request it. So what could I do but write it, I ask you?

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Title: Operational Status
Author: Bill L.
Size: Drabble
Summary: Before you begin, you run through the checklist
Challenge: Bathtime M*A*S*H
Disclaimer: M*A*S*H owned by 20th Century Fox. You Tell 'Em, Ferret Face!

OPERATIONAL STATUS
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Scalpel?" Pierce inquired.

"Check," McIntyre confirmed.

"Scissors?"

"Check."

"Retractors?"

"Check."

"Robes?"

"Check."

"Binoculars?"

"Check."

"Lounge Chairs?"

"Check."

"Martinis?"

"Check and double check - full pitcher with a fresh jar of olives."

"Excellent! Lookout, I assume you've been briefed on your duties?"

"You betcha," Radar nodded. "First sight of Major Houlihan, I give you two sirs the high sign."

"Very good, Swifty. Time, Watson?"

McIntyre ostentatiously brought his watch to his face. "Quarter to six - 1545, Army Standard Time, and the nurses' shower opens in 15 minutes. Shall we begin our prep?" he asked, brandishing the scissors.

"Gowns and gloves!" Hawkeye smirked.

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Then along came rednerd, who piled on by asking for five (Five! Five, I tells ya!) separate stores! Well I wrote all five and showed him, by golly! And all it required was my sanity (which, honestly, was questionable at best)

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Title: Have a Nice Trip
Author: Bill L.
Size: Double Drabble
Summary: Angel hits the deck. Constantly!
Challenge: Falling-Down-A-Lot Angel
Disclaimer: "Angel" owned by Mutant Enemy productions. Grrr Arrgh!

HAVE A NICE TRIP
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Guys, tell me you're making progress here," Angel pleaded, slowly dragging himself to his feet for the 37th time.

"Some," Wesley said, then added ruefully, "But not much."

"How much?"

"None really," Fred admitted.

"Nothing?"

"Just what's in these seven books, and that's about it."

"Aw c'mon, there's got to be..." The rest of Angel's sentence was cut off as he tripped over his own feet yet again and the floor smacked him.

"If it helps," Lorne offered from the other side of the room, I could always do a couple of verses of 'Stumbling In'."

"Ow!" Angel said in response to both the tumble and Lorne's comment. He shot a hard look at Gunn, who was trying hard not to laugh. "Y'know, it may look funny, but you try being the one who can't walk more than five steps without hitting the floor - which, I might add, is extremely hard!"

"Sorry, big guy," Gunn said, trying to look more serious. "Anything I can do to help? Besides not laughing?"

"Only if you can tell us," Wesley said, "the basics of the spell."

"I never knew impedimenta was a real spell," Fred sighed. "I just wonder how Rowling heard of it?"

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Title: The Book of Names
Author: Bill L.
Size: Longer Form
Summary: Someone has left a book for Echo
Challenge: Book-Reading Dollhouse
Disclaimer: "Dollhouse" owned by Mutant Enemy productions. Did I fall asleep?

THE BOOK OF NAMESBy Bill Livingston</i>
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Someone had left a book on the table where Echo usually sat. That was odd - there are very few books here, and most of them are small. This one is thicker, colored pink, with a picture of a fat smiling baby and the words POPULAR BABY NAMES FOR GIRLS written on the front.

Echo smiles. Babies are nice.

Echo opens the book and, starting at the back, skims through it. Most of the names are very pretty, but they mean nothing to her.

Some names, though, are circled. Reading them makes Echo feel - strange. Vague, half-formed memories come to her unbidden.

"Yvonne" (The cold steel of a gun in her hand, watching as an oddly-dressed man exits a car)

"Taffy" (A giant metal door swings open, revealing statues and pictures)

"Rebecca" (A man holding her in his arms, telling her she was home)

"Paige" (Gently coaxing a woman to give birth)

"Margaret" (A room full of people, all come to see her - because she's dead?)

"Lacey" (Sitting in a Jacuzzi between a man and his wife as each ran a hand up her thigh)

"Jordan" (Singing and dancing before a packed audience)

"Gia" (Dressed in tight, uncomfortable leather, she softly drew a whip across a man's chest)

"Esther" (In a room filled with smoke, someone swings something at her head)

"Caroline"

Echo stares at the name, not only circled but highlighted. It means nothing to her, calls forth no memories.

Curiously though, just the sight of the word seems to hold her captive. She is fascinated by it. She feels her mind begin to churn, spinning like something momentous was about to happen. It's close, so close, she could almost...

"Echo?"

With a start, she looked up. The phenomenon faded instantly. "Hello," she smiled.

"What do you have there, Echo?" the woman asked.

"I found a book," Echo said, handing it to her. "It has a lot of names in it."

She took the book and scanned it. Echo was puzzled as a small frown appeared - she hadn't meant to make the woman sad.

Quickly, Adelle DeWitt tucked the book under her arm. She had an uncomfortable feeling she knew who had left it - but neither how nor why. Masking her disquiet, she smiled at her Active. "Echo, why don't you come with me, and we'll see about getting you a treatment?"

"I'd like that," Echo smiled as she stood and went with the woman. Echo liked it when the woman smiled - it made her happy. "I liked those names," she said as they went upstairs. "Some of them are very pretty."

"Yes," Adelle agreed, tightening her clutch on the book. "Yes, they are."

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Title: Forcing It Over Your Head
Author: Bill L.
Size: Double Drabble
Summary: Crow wants to know.
Challenge: Pregnant Crow
Note: Title taken from an old Carol Burnett quote about pregnancy.
Disclaimer: "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and all characters owned by Best Brains Inc. You never had a puppy.

FORCING IT OVER YOUR HEAD
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Hey Mike, tell me something."

"If I can."

"What's pregnancy like?"

That made Mike Nelson lower his copy of Temps Monthly. "OK, first, why do you want to know, and second, why are you asking me?"

"I want to know because it's part of the human experience, and that's what I strive for."

"No it isn't."

"It's not?"

"No," Mike said. "In fact, not two days ago, you called me a 'bag of meat' and cursed out Data from 'Star Trek' as a 'rotten traitor to bot-hood'."

"Huh. Oh! Oh, that's right!" Crow laughed. "I forgot - living organisms are a blight on the universe and deserve only contempt! Boy is my face red! Or, well, gold, I guess! Thanks for setting me straight, Mike."

"No problem. Hey wait, why were you asking me to begin with?"

"Well, you're a no-good meatbag, so I figured you'd know."

Mike sighed. "Crow, I'm a guy. I can't really get pregnant without massively massive medical intervention."

"Yeah, but you used to be an embryo or a larvae or something, right?"

"Sorry, Crow," Mike said, returning to his magazine. "I can't quite remember that far back."

"Figures," Crow muttered as he wandered off. "Stinking meatbag."

---

Title: Long Live the King
Author: Bill L.
Size: Triple Drabble
Summary: Hodgins has a plan. Not a good one, but a plan.
Challenge: Drunker-than-all-get-out Bones
Note: Takes place right after the Season 3 finale "The Pain in the Heart".
Disclaimer: "Bones" owned by 20th Century Fox Television in association with Far Field Productions and Josephson Entertainment. What's That Mean?

LONG LIVE THE KING
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Hodgins?"

Jack Hodgins lifted his head, exposing eyes so bloodshot they were almost solid crimson. "Dr. Bennen! Agent Brooth! Two of my very fav'rite people not onna way to the nuthatch! Howerya?!"

"OK Hodgins," Booth said, "What're you doing?"

Hodgins swept his arm at a pile of empties in the corner - several beers, Maker's Mark, an expensive bottle of champagne, a couple of vodkas, even MD 20/20. "My plan," he slurred, "Is to drink ever' ounce of alcohol at th' Jesserfonian. When that's gone, I'll manufacture more here in th' lab an' drink that it too."

"Hodgins," Brennan said. "You can't do that."

"Sure I can!" Hodgins said. "I'm undisputed King of the Lab now! My only rival is - is - gone." Like a deflating balloon, he sank to the floor.

Brennan knelt next to him. "Hodgins," she said softly, "We miss Zack too."

"Stupid... stupid..." he mumbled.

"Yeah, what Zack did was stupid," Booth started to say, "But -"

"Not him - me! ME!!!" Hodgins shouted. "Don' you unnerstan'? I shoulda noticed - but all I did was keep filling his sweet stupid head with my conspiracy theory crap! I practically primed him for Gormagon! It's my fault! All - all my fault!"

For a moment, Hodgins looked as though he was going to burst into tears, but he simply slumped over. Brennan checked his pulse to make sure he was merely insensate instead of comatose, then asked, "Now what?"

Regarding the unconscious scientist with pity, Booth pulled out his cell phone. "Now," he said, "We call Angela to come collect him."

Temperance Brennan remembered how unhappy she'd felt as she'd watched Zack led away in chains. I know how he feels, she thought sadly.

"My fault--- 'sall my fault," Hodgins mumbled miserably. "The King a' the lab's gone, an' 'sall my fault!"

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Title: The Sweet (?) Smell of Successfullness
Author: Bill L.
Size: Drabble
Summary: Sometimes, baths don't help so much
Challenge: Bathtime Buffy
Note: Takes place sometime in late season 3.
Disclaimer: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" owned by Mutant Enemy productions. Saving the World. A lot.

THE SWEET (?) SMELL OF SUCCESSFULLNESS
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Chasing the demon had taken them through one of the Sunnydale's ickier swamps, so Joyce had let the gang wash up there - a sign, maybe, that she was getting used to the weirdness surrounding Buffy being the Chosen One.

They were in the kitchen, munching on lemon squares or corn chips (or in Xander's case, both at once) when she came in. Suddenly, she stopped, winkled her nose and sniffed. "I better check those towels - I think they're starting to smell like wet dog."

All eyes turned to the dude at the end of the table.

"Sorry," Oz shrugged.

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Whew! Let's take a breather.

OK, next is a tale requested by jhall1, who made me do an evil thing by requesting pregnant T'Pol and/or Hoshi. It was the "and" that did it.

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Title: The Mommy Club
Author: Bill L.
Size: Triple Drabble
Summary: It turns out that how they got that way isn't the biggest mystery.
Challenge: Pregnant Hoshi and/or T'Pol
Note: Takes place after the final Enterprise storyline and before "These are the Voyages".
Disclaimer: "Enterprise" owned by Paramount in association with CBS Entertainment. It's been a long road getting from there to here.

THE MOMMY CLUB
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
An upset Ensign Sato shook her head as she clutched her distended stomach. "It's like we said, Captain. I went with T'Pol to investigate what we thought was an intermittent subspace signal, but when we got to the clearing it was deserted. Then there was just that bright flash of light and..."

"It struck before we could report in," the Vulcan woman added from the biobed opposite Hoshi's. "We came to only when were revived by Commander Tucker, by which time we were already in this condition," indicating her own rotund belly.

"Maybe Phlox's exam turned up something," Captain Archer said.

"Or at least let us know if they're expectin' boys or girls," Trip added, trying to lighten the mood.

"Both embryos seem to be female," said the Denobulan physician, his normal cheerful demeanor then turning concerned and puzzled. "However, both the Lieutenant and the Sub-commander now appear to be beginning the third trimester of pregnancy, despite being decidedly non-pregnant before leaving for this mission. And that isn't even the strangest part."

"Doctor," Hoshi said wryly, "What's stranger than waking up six months pregnant?"

"How about the fact both daughters are half human and half Vulcan?"

Trip swallowed - he and T'Pol had been here before. "Does, does that mean that the kids are..."

"No worries on that score, Commander, they're quite viable. The most puzzling aspect of this situation, though, is that both girls are genetically identical."

"That," T'Pol said flatly, "Is impossible."

"Impossible but true," Phlox said. "Furthermore, each child's chromosomes are half yours, half hers."

It took a second for the doctor's words to sink in. Trip and Hoshi looked at each other, flabbergasted. T'Pol's expression betrayed nothing.

"But - but that would mean..." stammered Captain Archer.

"Exactly - essentially, the two of them are having each other's babies."

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And last but not least, nsingman asked for this one, thus sealing the adjective "pregnant" as the dominant theme for FFF 2009.

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Title: Making the Call
Author: Bill L.
Size: Double Drabble
Summary: Uhura's news settles an issue - or does it?
Challenge: Pregnant Uhura (TOS version)
Disclaimer: "Star Trek" owned by Paramount in association with CBS Entertainment. Moving from "Nichols" to "Saldana" in just 11 steps.

MAKING THE CALL
By Bill Livingston
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I'm the father?"

"It couldn't be anyone else."

"And you're worried?" he asked.

"Of course - I'll have to leave the service, at least temporarily. And if it gets out the father's a fellow officer, both our careers would be over."

"Do you want to keep the child?" he asked softly.

She hesitated, nodded. "I tried to convince myself otherwise, but - yes."

There was a long silence from the shadows. "Then I'll take leave - or resign - along with you, help you raise him. Or her."

"What? No! Your career..."

"My career," he said firmly, "Is nothing compared to my child. Or the woman I love."

Uhura felt her heart rise. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course," he said, taking her hand in his. "In fact, I'd consider it an honor if you'd marry me."

Tears of joy welled in Uhura's eyes. She hadn't realized until that moment how much she loved him, had wanted to hear those words. She rose to embrace her beloved...

...Just as the intercom buzzed her wake-up call.

Her relief quickly turned to puzzlement - who had the father been? She felt it was important to know - maybe her subconscious was sending her its own wake-up call.

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And that's that for FFF this year. Stay tuned for more Fic, both old and new, coming soon to an LJ near you.